„ I’m Amanda, Erzsebet and Samantha. Sometimes I‘m Anabelle and sometimes Abigail. I‘m Emiko, I’m Jasmin.
Catch me and I’ll disappear. Make me stay and I‘ll never be yours. Try to convince me and I’ve already left.
I come when I want and I go when I need to. I‘d rather destroy and build again, starting with the very first stone than let things be dull.
In messy cities I long for silence.
I cross your streets in a red dress, stay reading in cafes, talk to strangers.
I love to lie in deep summer grass. At night I reach for the falling stars.
I‘m Francine the waitress, I’m Rachel your boss, I‘m Amalia the poet, I’m Maru, the storyteller, I‘m Oriana, the lover, Xiomara, the warrior, I‘m Kamaria the flower seller, I‘m Mariko, the street artist. I‘m Olivia, Esperanza and Victoria. You saw me in the bus, I touched you accidentally on the stairs … it is always me, same and different ….don‘t think you’ll ever know who I am, there are so many of us. Beware if you love just one …. I’m Afrodyzja & Zelia, I’m Jacqueline, the one you always dreamt of, the one you had to meet…”
Are you trembling?
You know the truth — you always have.
It was me. Every. Single. Time.
When your heart strayed toward Emiko,
when you seduced Jacqueline,
when longing for Oriana hollowed you out,
when Juliette haunted your thoughts,
and every time the name Afrodyzja brushed your mind —
I was Maru.
I was Samantha.
I was Jasmin.
I was the one you kept waiting,
the one whose promised night you forgot
while chasing after Zoriana.
Ich war es, die für dich aufblühte,
als Zweig voller fallender Blüten.
I was the reflection that met your gaze.
Ich war die, die du geliebt…
I was the one.
Du weißt es – natürlich weißt du es.
Warum zitterst du also? Ich bin es doch…
Rachel, Afrodyzja, Xiomara, Erszebeth, Francine, Olivia…
Sleep now.
And in the morning, you’ll finally understand:
I am Anabelle —
the woman of many faces, the one and each of us.
**** Die Begleiterinnen. A wandering essay. (Fragmente, in Bearbeitung) ****
Die Begleiterinnen. A wandering essay.
A story about intimacy, strength, tenderness, and about the one within me that refuses to be finished. About everything that embodies the experience and the longing to live one’s womanhood fully. And about the question of who the „woman in me” truly is.
